Single life has afforded me the luxury of many things. I can leave the cap off the toothpaste, the seat is always down, and I can binge watch TV. After exhausting all the bingeable shows like “Breaking Bad” “House of Cards” and “Shameless” I stumbled upon “Frankie and Grace.” Come on! It’s Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda! It’s Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston! What could be bad? Don’t get me started on the quirky premise or how the houses are all so gorgeous they totally distract me from the dialog and make me want to pack up and move to California. Oh….but in one episode (Episode 12) the two friends decide to have a “Say Yes” night. The rules were simple- Everything the other suggested must be met with a resounding “YES!” It changed everything. Suddenly they were doing things they had never done, enjoying sights, and sounds and people they would have previously passed right by.
This idea, “YES,” is an expansion of my New Year resolution to do one new thing every day. Usually little things (put an orange in my water instead of lemon) but sometimes big things (go to Ecuador for two weeks while leaving the kids alone). So, this entire episode resonated with me. In fact, my reaction was so intense, it inspired me a few weeks later when I finished up binging “Orange is the New Black” and “Aquarius” and decided to hit the dating sites instead. Here’s what I wrote:
I am looking for a man to say “YES” with. New foods, new places, new music, new ideas. I love to travel across the globe or through my own neighborhood. I love people and stories and adventures. Looking for someone special to share new experiences and ideas with- a fellow explorer who isn’t just along for the ride, but has ideas of his own. A man who is comfortable enough with who he is to allow me to be myself too.
And then, to prove my point, that I’m doing things maybe other women aren’t, I posted these pictures:
I thought they were fun. Interesting. Saying YES!
Now I have to admit, this profile generated more response than any I had ever created. The emails I got?
“Hi, YES!!! What a beautiful essay you wrote. Definitely yes. ;))”
“I will say yes to a challenge”
“i dont know if you noticed it but the pic where you are running looks like you have one leg. then the pic by the water looks like one leg also except you realize its the opposite leg.”
After my initial reaction of “WTH?!” I realized that it was the perfect response to my request to “say yes”. It’s all in the perspective. It was like the universe hit me upside the head affirming that there is no way at all to know how someone else will see you. They are going to focus on whatever they are going to focus on. So why worry? Instead, just be who you are. Do what you want. Focus entirely on what feels right to you. Don’t just say YES! Say “Hell Yes” if you want. Or “Fuck Yes” if it fits. Live big, and loud, and fully.